We're #1

Read what Mia McLeod has to say about South Carolina being #1 in domestic violence.  Maybe raising the amount of the bond needed to be posted would help, but people that are crazy violent have been known to wait around a few days to take out their rage.

I was a visiting therapist at a shelter for battered women on Long Island back in the 90's, where three women in the month of December one year were killed by men to whom had been served an order of protection.  Interestingly, or obscenely, it was the same judge, and he had ordered the women to serve the petition themselves rather than have the court pay for a server.

While at the shelter, I saw what happens when a woman without family and financial resources makes the courageous decision to leave an abusive partner.  Even with social services and medicaid the resources are pathetic.  After the short stay they not only have to deal with housing, but also with transportation.  Often with children, there is inadequate care available, and finding a job while juggling temporary and/or unaffordable housing and transportation is one step too far in this nightmare.

More often than not, when abusers come calling with apologies and promises, the women go home to whatever security they have there.

Society's biases are really what this is all about.  Here in South Carolina where the mass killing of children in Newtown last December resulted in a season of gun bills designed to protect the rights of gun owners, we pretty much know where the loyalties lie.  Hard to believe but the philosophy is that women that get beat must be doing something to deserve it.  Oh, and if she doesn't like it why doesn't she leave.  And if she leaves and he comes after her, well, that's her own fault too.

Add to that an education system that struggles to provide "minimally adequate" schools, the constant stress of being working poor -- and in this economy, the stress of being working middle class.  We have a governor who won't take federal money to assure Medicaid for the poor, and who would like to prevent those on food stamps from buying sweets.

And then our legislature gerrymandered districts so that the status quo is guaranteed.

There's two levels here.

The first is stepping in those shoes and living that life.  Knowing what it is like to be a woman afraid, and unable to do enough to keep herself and her children safe.

The second is a society that approves and rewards power and punishes weakness.

Strong laws that communicate disapproval of violence against women and children need to happen before the violence will be lessened.

And while that happens, allowing people to have a life with the security of home, health, a living wage, and for their children a good education with promise for the future, will perpetuate the value that violence is unacceptable.

Mia McLeod is a strong voice to that end, but she needs a lot more voices to call out for change with her.
   

Texas Bull

While across the country, and in the US Congress, the plot to keep women pregnant and powerless continues, in Texas they have continued to prove that they can do it bigger and better.  In fact, Governor Perry-- who not only can't remember the third thing on any list, he can't recall resigning from the presidential race after becoming a laughingstock-- continues to believe that he has a moral imperative to, well, make women behave.

After Wendy Davis' amazing filibuster, which was cut short by republicans who were just teed off at not getting things their way, Rick Perry had his own personal god-given tantrum.  Unable to get his forced pregnancy bill passed by following the rules that were set up by his own gang, and after his gang couldn't even break their own rules to get it passed anyway, Perry immediately stated that he is going to call for another special session.  Maybe this time there will be a secret meeting place.

Perry, who I believe has way too personal a fear of abortion, projected that fear when he said that because Davis was born into "difficult circumstances" she should know how important it is to prevent women from being able to decide to have an abortion.

In Mr. Perry's small mind, women only (and apparently always) opt for abortion because life's too tough.  Maybe just out of touch, or maybe it's that niggling fear that if his mom had had a choice, there would be no Rick Perry.  Isn't it this fear of women being in control that is determining this whole evangelical passion to force women to bear children?

The other issue surrounding this nonsense coming out of Texas is the fact-free assertion that fetuses feel pain.  Sadly, it was a woman who was blowing hot air on C-Span when I turned it on a week or so ago, and she was nearly in tears over the thought that these fetuses could feel pain.

To all those legislators there in Texas who are feeling the pain of those fetuses, I want you to dry those crocodile tears and pay attention.  Because Texas is helping my state of South Carolina hold down the bottom in terms of health care, education and child nutrition.

It's time to take care of this group of constituents, who we know for a fact feel pain:

From AlterNet

From Dallas Observer

And if you Texas legislators are really into doing some research about pain, you'll find a lot of it in your own backyard.  And you won't have to force women to take the helping hand that will help feed their kids.

worldhunger.blogspot.com

Out of the Shadows

I was listening to a panel discuss the difference between public support of gay marriage and women's right to abortion.  It was only in the 90's that the vast majority of Americans polled thought gay marriage should be illegal.  Now those figures are reversed.

Yet the abortion debate continues to be controlled by religious radicals who accuse women who choose to end their pregnancies of murder.  Our own South Carolina is one of those morally backwards states that continue to glut their legislatures with bills for "personhood" or that seek to prevent or punish the medical professionals who would perform that procedure.

What's the difference?

The difference is that the gay community is no longer in the shadows.  In fact, people who are LGBT have become part of a wider community, in their families, their towns, their workplaces.  They were there before, but hidden and shamed.  The difference is that now we know who they are, and they are us.

I discovered here in 2013 that I am not alone in the fact that I have had an abortion.  As I talked to friends and we told our stories of ourselves or friends or family members I became aware of what was missing from our abortion stance:  it was us.

We continue to hide in fear and shame, women who have had abortions, while we defend the "right to choose."  Choose what???  We are even afraid to say "choose to terminate a pregnancy" much less the dreaded word "abortion."  The ammunition this fear gives our rageful opponents is the right to paint us as evil.  We are the whores, the sinners, the murderers.

And we are painted as such because nobody knows who we are.

Like persons who are LGBT and have stepped forward to become part of the larger community, we women who have had abortions need to be unafraid and unashamed.  We need to let people know that those that they hate and condemn are their friends, neighbors, mothers and daughters.

It is easier to put an evil face to a nameless woman.  So if you are tired of hearing yourself described as a sinner or a killer, speak up.  Write letters to your members of Congress or the Statehouse, or letters to the editor.  If that is too large a step to take just yet, tell a friend or a family member.

Because the only way we can fight and win this ugly war is if we are armed with the truth.

Letters to Lindsey (and Tim)

I just put my letters to Senators Graham and Scott in the mail, asking for their reasons why they voted no on the VAWA.  Can't wait to see if they reply with the same form letter.

SC Senators Vote Against VAWA Reauthorization

Both of South Carolina's esteemed senators voted against the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act on Tuesday.  What were they thinking?  I decided to find out.

Here's the letter I am sending by snail mail to each of them. Feel free to use it, or any part of it, in a letter of your own.

We'll see what kind of response I get.  I'm not hopeful for much more than the standard "I'm busily fighting the War on Terror" from Senator Graham. Who knows what Senator Scott will come up with.  I suspect something like the "Tea Party made me do it."

_____________

The Honorable Lindsey Graham

290 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20501

or 

The Honorable Tim Scott

167 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Dear Senator _____,

I would be interested in learning why you decided to vote against the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act this past week.

This Act, among other things, provides funding for the S.T.O.P. Violence Against Women program in South Carolina. This progran prosecutes domestic violence and sexual assault cases and trains law enforcement, judges, prosecutors and victim advocates throughout the state about the causes, effects and laws pertaining to those crimes.  (http://www.scag.gov/criminal-domestic-violence-in-south-carolina/s-t-o-p-violence-against-women-program)

The VAWA Act and its funds are especially needed in South Carolina. This state, which you were (elected or appointed) to represent, was rated number two in the country in 2010 for the number of  women murdered by men. (Violence Policy Center Report 2012).

So, again, I would be interested in learning why you decided to vote against this important bill.

I look forward to hearing from you,

 Regards,

 

Penny Travis, PhD
 

Let Them Buy Guns

Jim DeMint's comments about his opposition to the Violence Against Women Act is pretty much the republican excuse for any no vote that would help or protect a woman or child.  Letting the state handle it, when the state won't, is the dodge they have been using and getting away with for many years.

Basically, it doesn't matter where the tax dollars come from, DeMint is against it.  And as far as victims of violence go, it's the 1950's, where a woman only gets raped if she's asking for it.  The country as a whole may have rejected that backwards ideology in the last election, but let us never accuse our legislators here in South Carolina of being in touch with reality, or admitting they may be wrong.

I would imagine that a bill in our state legislature to fund handguns for women would go farther than one offering protection from violence.