The Inevitability of South Carolina

I was half listening to the Nightly News the other evening when I heard about a car driving into the beach at Daytona.  I harrumphed, because I had visited Daytona Beach a couple of years ago and was totally flummoxed by the fact that cars drive up and down that beautiful beach just because, well, they can.  I just assumed some idiot had gotten distracted.

But as I watched further, it was apparent that this was a different matter entirely.  A woman with three children in a minivan intentionally turned and drove into the surf.  The children were screaming for help, and the oldest trying to wrestle the steering wheel from his mother.  Others on the beach responded to the obvious distress and rescued mother and three children.

As I listened, I felt a bizarre sense of inevitability.  I almost said the words along with the commentator:  the woman was from South Carolina.

In 1994, Susan Smith achieved national notoriety when she claimed that her two children had been abducted by a black man; after a nine day search, she admitted that in fact she had pushed her car into a lake, drowning her sons.  Her stepfather, a Christian Coalition leader, admitted to having sexually molested Smith.

I only relate that story because, as with Ebony Wilkerson, it is pretty much a checklist of what is wrong with South Carolina.  A mentally disturbed woman, victim of spousal and/or sexual abuse, responsible for children.  It turns out that three days earlier, Wilkerson had called 911 from her Myrtle Beach home to report having been raped by her husband.  He had also been arrested and charged with battery in 2005.  This time around, the Myrtle Beach police appear to have been "still investigating" the call when questioned three days after she attempted to kill herself and her children.

Earlier on that same day in Daytona, her sister called the police and reported that Ebony was delusional, talking about Jesus and demons.  They actually stopped her on the road, but had no reason to hold her.

Wilkerson was 27 weeks pregnant.

Obviously, in both South Carolina and Florida, attempts were made to intervene.  But this woman had been wrestling with crises that needed intervention a long time ago.

Here in South Carolina, our governor is working hard to deny people food stamps and health care, two pieces of a struggle that could be easily addressed for so many of us.  More difficult problems of mental illness, spousal assault and isolation would require hard work from our government.  Ebony Wilkerson has had contacts with various government services, and they have been inadequate.

Poverty, racism, inadequate education, lack of family assistance, inadequate health and mental health outreach, lack of sex education and family planning, failure to pursue and prosecute the abusers of women.

I could go on.

It's been quite a number of years since Susan Smith drowned her children.  Sadly, South Carolina continues to be number 1 (or right up there) in all the wrong things.

Isn't it time we stopped worrying about whether we should be feeding people who don't have jobs and just feed them?  And how about knocking it off about the evils of the Affordable Care Act, and taking that Medicaid expansion?
  
Then maybe we can begin to address those tragedies that can be prevented with commitment and work.



   

We're #1

Read what Mia McLeod has to say about South Carolina being #1 in domestic violence.  Maybe raising the amount of the bond needed to be posted would help, but people that are crazy violent have been known to wait around a few days to take out their rage.

I was a visiting therapist at a shelter for battered women on Long Island back in the 90's, where three women in the month of December one year were killed by men to whom had been served an order of protection.  Interestingly, or obscenely, it was the same judge, and he had ordered the women to serve the petition themselves rather than have the court pay for a server.

While at the shelter, I saw what happens when a woman without family and financial resources makes the courageous decision to leave an abusive partner.  Even with social services and medicaid the resources are pathetic.  After the short stay they not only have to deal with housing, but also with transportation.  Often with children, there is inadequate care available, and finding a job while juggling temporary and/or unaffordable housing and transportation is one step too far in this nightmare.

More often than not, when abusers come calling with apologies and promises, the women go home to whatever security they have there.

Society's biases are really what this is all about.  Here in South Carolina where the mass killing of children in Newtown last December resulted in a season of gun bills designed to protect the rights of gun owners, we pretty much know where the loyalties lie.  Hard to believe but the philosophy is that women that get beat must be doing something to deserve it.  Oh, and if she doesn't like it why doesn't she leave.  And if she leaves and he comes after her, well, that's her own fault too.

Add to that an education system that struggles to provide "minimally adequate" schools, the constant stress of being working poor -- and in this economy, the stress of being working middle class.  We have a governor who won't take federal money to assure Medicaid for the poor, and who would like to prevent those on food stamps from buying sweets.

And then our legislature gerrymandered districts so that the status quo is guaranteed.

There's two levels here.

The first is stepping in those shoes and living that life.  Knowing what it is like to be a woman afraid, and unable to do enough to keep herself and her children safe.

The second is a society that approves and rewards power and punishes weakness.

Strong laws that communicate disapproval of violence against women and children need to happen before the violence will be lessened.

And while that happens, allowing people to have a life with the security of home, health, a living wage, and for their children a good education with promise for the future, will perpetuate the value that violence is unacceptable.

Mia McLeod is a strong voice to that end, but she needs a lot more voices to call out for change with her.