Family Values

Maybe it's me, but "family values" means a whole lot different to the Tea Party, the Heritage Foundation and groups that actually have the words "family" and/or "values" in their names than it does to me.  I think of family values in terms of valuing families -- being sure that children have proper nutrition and a secure roof over their heads, including in school, where there should be heat in the winter and no water leaking from said roof.  And of course a decent education followed by a job that provides a living wage for a good day of work, and decent benefits, like sick leave and health insurance to provide for the children.  See, it's like a cycle.

But the folks that brag about their family values today tend to be the ones that do not value the families of those with less wealth and power than they have.  And then try to justify those other children and families doing without all that fine stuff with nonsense about killing jobs and creating debt that their children will have to pay off.

And when they say they don't want their children to have to pay off the nation's debt, they really mean their children -- not yours.

So in that atmosphere, forget about daycare, we have to fight for the adequacy of our schools.  And where far too many workers barely subsist on minimum wage, our government is convinced that the way out of debt is to continue to pay off big farms and cut food stamps.

So it comes as no surprise to learn that with all the talk about being "pro-life," pregnant women continue to be discriminated against at work.  Given jobs that jeopardize their health, limited sick leave, forced to take unpaid leave or terminated when they are unable to continue to do their job.

The ACLU and its New York chapter worked to pass the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act in New York City, which was signed into law on October 2 by Mayor Bloomberg.  As you can imagine, getting this law to go anywhere in our current Congress will be a fight.  It was introduced in 2012, and reintroduced this year.

The ACLU is asking for our support, in signing a petition to Congress to pass a Pregnant Workers Fairness Act.  Please sign, and spread the word.  And be sure to let our representatives know that all that talk about family values is just hot air without passing legislation that truly supports families.

And while we're at it, I'm thinking we should get our own legislators here in South Carolina to pass its own Pregnant Workers Fairness Act; maybe those who feel the need to safeguard pregnancy could do something more constructive than force women to carry unwanted pregnancies to term.

We're #1

Read what Mia McLeod has to say about South Carolina being #1 in domestic violence.  Maybe raising the amount of the bond needed to be posted would help, but people that are crazy violent have been known to wait around a few days to take out their rage.

I was a visiting therapist at a shelter for battered women on Long Island back in the 90's, where three women in the month of December one year were killed by men to whom had been served an order of protection.  Interestingly, or obscenely, it was the same judge, and he had ordered the women to serve the petition themselves rather than have the court pay for a server.

While at the shelter, I saw what happens when a woman without family and financial resources makes the courageous decision to leave an abusive partner.  Even with social services and medicaid the resources are pathetic.  After the short stay they not only have to deal with housing, but also with transportation.  Often with children, there is inadequate care available, and finding a job while juggling temporary and/or unaffordable housing and transportation is one step too far in this nightmare.

More often than not, when abusers come calling with apologies and promises, the women go home to whatever security they have there.

Society's biases are really what this is all about.  Here in South Carolina where the mass killing of children in Newtown last December resulted in a season of gun bills designed to protect the rights of gun owners, we pretty much know where the loyalties lie.  Hard to believe but the philosophy is that women that get beat must be doing something to deserve it.  Oh, and if she doesn't like it why doesn't she leave.  And if she leaves and he comes after her, well, that's her own fault too.

Add to that an education system that struggles to provide "minimally adequate" schools, the constant stress of being working poor -- and in this economy, the stress of being working middle class.  We have a governor who won't take federal money to assure Medicaid for the poor, and who would like to prevent those on food stamps from buying sweets.

And then our legislature gerrymandered districts so that the status quo is guaranteed.

There's two levels here.

The first is stepping in those shoes and living that life.  Knowing what it is like to be a woman afraid, and unable to do enough to keep herself and her children safe.

The second is a society that approves and rewards power and punishes weakness.

Strong laws that communicate disapproval of violence against women and children need to happen before the violence will be lessened.

And while that happens, allowing people to have a life with the security of home, health, a living wage, and for their children a good education with promise for the future, will perpetuate the value that violence is unacceptable.

Mia McLeod is a strong voice to that end, but she needs a lot more voices to call out for change with her.