No Respect

Our own ex-gov. Mark Sanford seems to be a poster child for disrespecting women.  You don't have to look at his poor record as governor when for two terms he fought the hard fight against any program that would give aid to women and children.

You could even say that Sanford's battle is not so much against women, but against people of limited means -- we of the 47 percent, to put it in Mitt Romney terms.

But his misogynistic treatment of his former wife, and even his treatment of his fiancee, scream out the kind of narcissism that insure that, to Mark Sanford, a woman is merely the means to an end, the end being who he sees in the mirror and what he has to gain.

When you listen to his remarks about his many indiscretions, I mean really listen to the words and not the sad face with the teary eyes and all the talk about "his God," what you really hear is how things might affect Mark Sanford.

Jenny Sanford recounts in her autobiography Staying True that at her husband's press conference after his affair became public, despite the tears and the appearance of remorse, he failed to apologize to his wife and sons, nor to thank Jenny for standing by him.  More inappropriate and narcissistic was his call to her after the event to ask her how he did.  Most of us would see that, and his repeated attempts to seek her input and approval, as just plain cruel.  But Mark continued to beg her for permission to continue to see the other woman.  And whining that she just didn't understand.

One would want to believe that his judgment was tainted back then by what was happening to him in his personal life (even though those events were of his own doing), but throughout the current House campaign, we have been hearing bizarre stories like that of him asking Jenny to manage his campaign as she had in the past (and telling her that this time she would be paid for it!!!).  There was the strange acceptance speech the night Sanford won the primary challenge in which he expressed surprise that the "other woman," now his fiancee, had turned up to celebrate his win.  And now we learn that one of the sons who was on stage at the event had not ever met the woman with whom they were sharing the stage.  As Jon Stewart might say, "Awk-ward."

And cold and uncaring.

Lately we have word that he has several times trespassed to enter Jenny's home, and that in March she decided to pursue the matter legally.  And Sanford's response to this is to accuse, well everyone involved in making it public, of political motivation, as though we the people have no right to know about such behavior from someone running for office.  

What we get from Mark Sanford in response to all these incidents is the type of depressive and pathetic whining that amounts to, "Why are you all picking on me?"

He has tried to blame the most recent trespassing event on the fact that Jenny was not home, leaving their 14-year-old son unsupervised.  Because, as you know, Mark Sanford is all about being there for his children.

There is a disconnect here that is disturbing.  Mark Sanford's reflection goes no further than how an action will reflect on him, and not ever whether it is right or wrong.  Whether it is leaving the state without alerting state officials of his whereabouts or lying about his affairs, Sanford is unable to do the right thing when it interferes with his needs and impulses.  And when it's over, he is unable to see what he did that was wrong.

The fact that Mark Sanford on primary night referred to "my God" was jarring.  It truly emphasized the extent to which Sanford filters his entire world through the lens of his own needs, and that it is indeed his world.

Depression is the flip side of anger.  Without going all psychobabble here, I will say that Sanford's depression looks a lot like what he feels when his attempts to manipulate the women in his life fail.  His idea of a swell relationship with his ex-wife seems to be happily running his campaign, giving him free access to her home, and supporting him in his campaigns and in his love life.

And the continued errors in judgment he has made that involve his wife, and his attempts to spin the errors, point to a man who can never be trusted to do the right thing.  Or even to understand when he has done the wrong thing.

Which pretty much explains why on earth after being laughed out of the Governor's Mansion at the end of his term he would imagine we would want him back.