Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Out of the Shadows

I was listening to a panel discuss the difference between public support of gay marriage and women's right to abortion.  It was only in the 90's that the vast majority of Americans polled thought gay marriage should be illegal.  Now those figures are reversed.

Yet the abortion debate continues to be controlled by religious radicals who accuse women who choose to end their pregnancies of murder.  Our own South Carolina is one of those morally backwards states that continue to glut their legislatures with bills for "personhood" or that seek to prevent or punish the medical professionals who would perform that procedure.

What's the difference?

The difference is that the gay community is no longer in the shadows.  In fact, people who are LGBT have become part of a wider community, in their families, their towns, their workplaces.  They were there before, but hidden and shamed.  The difference is that now we know who they are, and they are us.

I discovered here in 2013 that I am not alone in the fact that I have had an abortion.  As I talked to friends and we told our stories of ourselves or friends or family members I became aware of what was missing from our abortion stance:  it was us.

We continue to hide in fear and shame, women who have had abortions, while we defend the "right to choose."  Choose what???  We are even afraid to say "choose to terminate a pregnancy" much less the dreaded word "abortion."  The ammunition this fear gives our rageful opponents is the right to paint us as evil.  We are the whores, the sinners, the murderers.

And we are painted as such because nobody knows who we are.

Like persons who are LGBT and have stepped forward to become part of the larger community, we women who have had abortions need to be unafraid and unashamed.  We need to let people know that those that they hate and condemn are their friends, neighbors, mothers and daughters.

It is easier to put an evil face to a nameless woman.  So if you are tired of hearing yourself described as a sinner or a killer, speak up.  Write letters to your members of Congress or the Statehouse, or letters to the editor.  If that is too large a step to take just yet, tell a friend or a family member.

Because the only way we can fight and win this ugly war is if we are armed with the truth.

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